I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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