so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
