I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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