people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
