I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just want nice things and good sex
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
