He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
