It's Friday. Sex?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
