this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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