I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
