I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
