Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
