I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
