I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
