I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize