just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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