How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
