I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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