I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
