i jhust puked up my retainher.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
