all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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