So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
