sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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