So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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