Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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