oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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