I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
