Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
