I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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