is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
