ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
