I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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