peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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