Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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