carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
