honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
