your thong is hanging out like whoa
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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