Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
