It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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