If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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