So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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