I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
