Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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