I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
