the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
