Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
