apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I want a musical about memes.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
