I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
