brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
her vagine was all disorganized.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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