I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
