There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
