Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
