That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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