can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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