Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you inspire me to be a worse person
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
