she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
bring money and cleavage
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The feeling are messing with the penis
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
