I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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