Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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