Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
