Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
