So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
did i walk over a car last night?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
