i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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