Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
