ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
