Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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