I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The adults are the big ones right?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
