She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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